Your Life is Going to Transform


Today is the day that your life will change for the better. The primary reason for failure is unnecessary struggling. Our whole goal achievement culture is backwards. Science has shown time and time again that calm happy people have the optimum state of mind to succeed. First happiness then success.

Your transformation begins with how you see and treat yourself. Most people are unaware that they have an internal dialogue going on in their mind constantly. It is exactly the reason that all your past attempts to change have failed. You usually end up right back where you started from because your mind thinks the same thoughts over and over again. You react the same way over and over again. How do you change that? The first step is to recognize that voice. Start practicing periods where the soul exercise is to quiet your mind and simply notice the thoughts that come up without reacting to them. Once you get good at this the changes you make will become obvious. You will quit taking those thoughts at face value and eventually realize you are not those thoughts. You are the one who notices them. You will no longer have the notion to play along but instead make decisions that empower you. Once you realize that most of your behavior has been driven by your biological thought box you will transcend those old habits. This will provide the foundation for transformation.

Now you can set your intentions and goals and watch them unfold. What happens to you isn’t a problem. What you think about what happens to you is the problem. Judging yourself good or bad will stop your transformation. Whether you believe in God or a natural universe, you can believe that life sustains itself. The sun rises and sets. The seasons change. The cycles of birth and death continue. The point is that all you need is awareness and intention and your life will unfold better than you can imagine.

I can’t fit all of the nuances in a brief blog post, so if you have questions feel free to reach out. There are no shortcuts on the road to transformation. Learning to separate your true self from those repeated thoughts can take a while. I am confident that you have what it takes to live a life better than you can imagine.

Lies We Believe


This video popped up on my YouTube feed today. I normally don’t just post a video without commentary, but I think this video is worth a watch. I have spent a lot of time thinking about lies that are widely believed, and I mostly agree with the video host.

Balance of Being and Doing


Interest in Mindfulness and other types of meditation has grown significantly, and for good reason.  With so many people entering into meditation practices, one of the common struggles is balancing being and doing.   People notice that if you quiet your mind and don’t do anything, you can quickly begin to experience a sense of blissfulness, or at least contentment.  If you stay in this line of thought it leads to diminishing the real value of a meditation practice.  A meditation practice was meant to create some distance between the real you and the biological computer in your brain that constantly generates thoughts that disturb you.  The end game is to be able to quiet your mind, and observe your thoughts without immediately reacting, and adding more thoughts to them.  

Have you ever had one of those days, where it felt like you were really busy all day, but you didn’t feel like you got much done?  Better yet, you can’t recall what all you got done.  Usually that sense of busyness is as much a result of the busyness in your mind as it is the actual doing of whatever you were doing.  A meditation practice will help you to stay in the moment even when you have a lot to do.  You get a sense of calm in the storm, and won’t tend to overreact the events that happen that would have upset you before.  If you work with your mind fully in the present, you can learn to be while you do.  One of my favorite meditation practices is making the bed in the morning.  I purposely start the day by quieting my mind and focusing only on making my bed without any other thoughts present.  

There is an idea from Buddhism that often gets brought into meditation practices.  I am paraphrasing from one of the four noble truths, but it basically says that the root of suffering is desire.  People then quit desiring.  This is a complete misunderstanding of this noble truth.  Jesus taught something similar in the bible, when he instructs us not to chase after wealth as the heathen do.  This was also widely misunderstood. You are always going to have desires, and you will always have things happen in life you don’t like.  A meditation practice will help you to examine your motives and thoughts so you can make decisions and act based on your values, not in reaction to autonomous thoughts.  

A long time ago success guru Tony Robbins put it this way.  Again I am paraphrasing, but he said, “if you sit around all day and bliss out, they will eventually come and take your furniture.”  True enough, and they will eventually throw you out of your home as well.  As you go into your week, work on noticing your arising thoughts and practice not automatically adding more thoughts to them.  Just observe your thoughts and don’t react.  This is “being”, it has little to do with whether you proceed in “doing” a lot or a little.  That choice is truly yours if you can learn to be, even when you are doing.

See the World Bigger


“When we try to make ourselves bigger in the eyes of the world, we shrink the size of our world. When we expand our knowledge of the world around us, we make the world bigger.


Something occurred to me as I was doing my weekly reflection and planning this morning. When we try to make ourselves bigger in the eyes of world, we shrink the size of our world. When we expand our knowledge of the world around us, we make the world bigger. We as humans can be so arrogant to believe we know much of what there is to know. When we are confronted with the accusation of being a “know it all”, we logically know that our knowledge is limited. On the other hand, the inside of our own mind often reflects the idea that we may not know it all, but we know most of it.

We do this, because it gives us comfort to believe that we are in control. We have to make our world smaller in order to feel comfortable in the world. Comfort is a natural desire. This is one of the greatest limits we place on ourselves. If we realized how little control we have in our universe, and how vulnerable we are are we would be much more humble and respectful. We would also be forced to put our faith in something bigger than ourselves.

The only way we learn and grow is to expand our awareness beyond what we know. The more I learn the more I realize how little I really know. It is growing comfortable with this fact that will allow us to get comfortable with a much larger world. Most Christians will be familiar with Jesus guidance to die to self. Realizing how little we know and getting ourselves outside of our comfort zone causes us to die a little to ourselves. Realizing how small we are in the grand scheme of things. It also allows us to expand our horizons and do more with our lives.

This week maybe we can take a little time to think about the unimaginable quantity of knowledge that can be known. Maybe we can get out of our comfort zones and grow our circle of influence. There is something much bigger at play than just our small world. Let’s see if we can make a difference without having to boost our own ego.

Toxic Self Help


If you are a regular consumer of self help content, I would encourage you to watch James Jani’s “Toxic Self Help” video at the end of this post. Well written self help books can make us feel good, and give us a dopamine boost. We momentarily feel better. We set out to change our lives, only to end up frustrated again. The cycle takes us back to our next self help book. I was caught up in this cycle in my late twenties. I bought more of these self help books and programs, than I should have. It all lead to more frustration.

I want to be careful not to throw the baby out with the bath water. I have read some great books, and picked up some good information even from the bad ones. Much of it I still use today. The problem is not reading the books, it is believing that any book or program will be the catalyst to transform your life. Any real success is going to come by taking right consistent action over a period of time. You don’t need a book for that, but there is definitely useful information you can take from them.

If you find yourself relating to James’ video stop buying self help books, and move forward with what you already know. Feel free to contact me here. You can use a free thirty minute consult to chart a new course.

Seeing Knowledge Clearly


When I was in my mid-thirties I remember a trip to the grocery store with my wife Diane, who would occasionally read the fine print on the labels.  I noticed that she was holding the labels further from her eyes in order to see them clearly.  I teasingly asked if she needed gadget arms to read the labels.  She appropriately shot me back a look and said, “you wait  your time is coming.” From time to time I would playfully tease her about holding things out so she could see them.    

Several years later I was reading a book, and Diane was sitting next to me.  She said “you are holding that book a little far away, aren’t you?”  I said “no, that is just how I read”.  I began to pull the book closer to my eyes, just to show her I could see close up.  I suddenly realized that the text was really blurry.  The joke was on me, I was about to begin payment for all the teasing I had done, along with a new pair of eyeglasses.

In the same way that eyeglasses allow us to see text more clearly, curiosity can help us to see our knowledge more clearly.  We often believe that just because we understand the basics behind something, that we understand it fully.  I believed that just because I could read the words on the page, that I could see the text clearly from close up. I was wrong.

Often in books or movies, a writer will make us aware of circumstances that the main character isn’t aware of.  We find ourselves really wanting the character to realize that they aren’t seeing things clearly.  Ironically we rarely stop to question whether we are seeing things clearly.  Isn’t it likely that we, like the character in the story, can’t see all the things that have happened beyond our own vision.  Something happens to us and we often react as if we fully understand what has happened.  

This is one of those ideas that can completely change our lives for the better.  It is humbling to realize that we only see and understand a small part of what is.  It is empowering to acknowledge that deficit, and to use curiosity to see some of the things we can’t. Learning to be curious about the things that you experience in life is one of the best ways to grow as a person. If we only look at the surface of things, we are sure to miss important details. 

As a people, we nearly missed the immense benefit of discovering Germ Theory.  In the 1840s Ignaz Semmelweis observed that mortality rates in childbirth were reduced greatly, by simple hand washing by doctors and midwives.  He attempted to publish his work, and it was largely rejected. It wasn’t until the 1880s that Germ theory was developed and gained any traction.  We have also discovered that in the 14th century ceremonial hand washing was likely responsible for a much lower death rate from the Black Plague among European Jews. 

There is always more going on than we realize. While we shouldn’t get caught up in endless details, we should keep an open mind about what is possible.  Who knows what great things you might accomplish, by just getting curious. 

Goodbye Twitter


I decided this evening to delete my Twitter account. Our world is so polarized and Twitter is particularly polarized. I believe that in large part, it is people trying to have meaningful communication in so few words. I had a respectful back and forth on Twitter earlier this afternoon over a polarizing topic. I found it quite challenging to minimize offense in so few words.

I think the short form communication manipulates and emboldens it’s users to say things that feed the polarization. I also don’t get much traction out of Twitter.

Most importantly, I think it is imperative that we get back to having respectful conversations around important issues, as opposed to tweeting offensive blurbs back and forth. Twitters algorithms appear to feed polarization with intent.

If you are a fan of Twitter feel free to comment on this post as to why you do.

A short note on political polarization. Several years ago, I unhitched my wagon from politics all together. I did this for two reasons. First and foremost, I believe the solution lies with the people not the politicians. Secondly I woke up to my unconscious bias, and much of that for me was political in nature.

If you really want to make America great again, then learn to have respectful conversations on important issues with people who believe differently than you do. It is also important to remember that you can safely assume that anyone you talk to knows something you don’t know.

Goodbye Twitter!

Are You Interested in becoming a data professional ? Data is the new oil.


As many of you know I am a part time remote life coach, but I am also a full-time Business Intelligence Specialist / Data Engineer. On a typical week for the last couple years, I have had at least one or two recruiters contact me to interview for data jobs. That activity seems to be ratcheting up. Data is the new oil. The one thing I love about my job in data, is the same thing I love about life coaching. It is adding value to people. It also pays extremely well.

I want to help prepare more data professionals to fill the current need. In a free half an hour session, I will provide everything you need to get started.

Here are some reasons you might want to become a data professional.

  • Excellent Pay
  • Flexible Hours
  • Work Remotely
  • Contribute directly the bottom line of you and your employer
  • Regardless of what happens in the economy the need for data services is going to grow

If you are seriously interested in becoming a data professional, I am offering a free thirty minute consult to 2 people per month. Here is what you can expect.

  • Discuss your situation and determine if a career in data is right for you.
  • Point you to quality free resources to kickstart your learning.
  • Provide you insight into the most in-demand platforms to learn.

For those who take advantage of the free consult, and are really serious about becoming a data professional. ( You need show that you have taken action on insights from the initial free consult ) I will provide ongoing monthly training sessions for the same price as an hour of basic life coaching. $65 / month with homework between sessions.

You can drop me a note here if you are interested. Please tell me a little about what you are doing now and why you are interested in becoming a data professional. I will pick two responses per month for the free consult.

A Dysfunctional Alarm Clock


I was reminded of this old post today, as I noticed my mental alarms going off during the day.

Your Remote Life Coach

This post will bring awareness to unnecessary alarms in your life. You can easily minimize these alarms to improve the qualify of your life.

Imagine you go to bed one night and your alarm clock goes off sporadically during the night. The first time it goes off you reset it, the second time you unplug it, and the third time you remove the backup battery. An hour later the alarm on your mobile phone starts the same pattern.

It isn’t hard to imagine having a challenging day after a night of multiple alarms. If this were to happen to you, you would no doubt get to the root of the problem and remedy the situation so that it wouldn’t continue to happen.

You may have this kind of thing happening in your waking life, and not even realize it. Your unconscious, like an alarm clock is a great tool to…

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Small Stuff ?


Small changes over time can turn your life around. These small changes build on each other. Sometimes we think that success happens because of the massive action we take, but we never think about the small things that let us build up to those massive actions.

Last week i got off track and started focusing on making changes to things that were currently out of my control. I let the actions of others get me worked up through the process.

Once I realized what was going on, I asked myself what I could do to get out of that state of mind. I realized was that I hadn’t been taking time to clear my mind, and exercise in the morning. I also hadn’t taken the time to be mindful throughout the day.

These were small habits that made a big difference in my effectiveness and happiness. I really didn’t think they would help that much, but I had to start somewhere. They were exactly the things that helped me to get perspective on what was going on. In a few hours, I was back on track moving forward.

When we want to make changes in our lives we often look for big things we can do to get on track, but the things that really make a difference are the little things. It occurred to me to write this post because I was surprised that getting back on track with just those two small daily habits, would make that much difference.

What are some small positive habits you can start this week?