When I wake up in the mornings I will often go out back and watch the sun rise. Day after day the sun rises, the grass grows, the rain comes, the grass grows more, and the next morning the sun comes up again.  Take a look around at nature and what it does all by itself. Particularly watch the flowers in the spring season, and how they grow in beauty.  As human beings we are somehow led to believe that we have to try and struggle for our lives to naturally unfold in a positive way. If you believe in human caused climate change you might observe that when humans try and struggle, we even negatively impact nature. Imagine what we are doing to ourselves.  The example we have around us is that nature unfolds, because without judgment it just does what is in front of it to do. This post is for that person who despite their trying, is unable to fulfill their dreams.  You have had failures, or quit because it got too hard. Whatever your story, I want to offer a thirty day experiment that could change your life. 

Before we get into the experiment I want to clarify my understanding that nothing happens without action.  What if you could take that action without all the mental struggle, fuss, and hustle? What if you could give yourself a break, and realize that if everything doesn’t get done today, the world won’t end.  I started a similar experiment two years ago.  Since that time my income has doubled. I am happier, more relaxed, and just enjoy life more. When I first started this experiment I was scared to death that things were going to go undone, that I was going to go broke, and all sorts of other bad stuff would happen. What I found instead is that I got more done at home and in my career, but somehow it just seemed like it was so much easier.

One more piece of insight before laying out the experiment.  The only place you can interact with the past and future is in your mind in the present moment.  Your past is what it is, and couldn’t be different because it wasn’t. (Credit Peter Crone). As for the future we all like to think that we either know or should know how the future will turn out.  If you look at this practically, you can’t control nature, the market, and you can’t control the behavior of other people.  Isn’t it a bit insane for you to hold yourself responsible for or to even worry about the future?  We literally have no idea what is going to happen five minutes from now. Don’t worry about being perfect in your understanding and execution of this experiment. Just do something.

The Experiment  

The first step is to just surrender to your current circumstances, and surrender the idea that you don’t know what is going to happen a year, six months, a month, a week, or even five minutes from now.  Be ok with your current circumstances, and what is coming.  This doesn’t mean you don’t do whatever you can and want to to make the present and future better, it is just stopping all the worry about the things you can’t control.  Earlier in my career, I purposely took a job that was outside my current ability.  I was in over my head and I knew it, but I thought “nothing breeds productivity like necessity.” I used to consistently worry about getting fired, even though I knew I was giving a fantastic effort, and overall doing a pretty good job.  At a minimum it was the best I could. I lived in fear that someone might find out I was an “Imposter.” I was having a conversation one day with one of our vice presidents, and he commented about what a good job I was doing. This gave me the ammunition I needed to settle on the fact that I had no idea if I would get fired, I would just go on doing the best I could. Once I surrendered to not knowing what my boss was going to do, the incessant worry stopped.  Oddly I started performing even better because I no longer felt like I had a gun pointed at myself.  It was possible that they could have fired me, Lord knows I made my share of mistakes figuring it all out, but losing all the worry was helpful.  I still worried about everything else though.  It wasn’t until many years later than I really learned to surrender to what is and what might come. 

The second step is to assume the following, even if you don’t yet believe it. “It is not your conscious mind’s job to know how meeting your goals is going to happen.” Have you ever walked or driven somewhere, and you were so deep in thought, that you didn’t even remember the walk or drive.  It was like you just arrived with no memory of what happened since you left home?  If you are a practiced walker or driver, your subconscious mind can do all that stuff on auto-pilot. You can do far more on auto-pilot than you think.  Your subconscious mind can be a powerful tool, kind of like a perfectly self-driving car.  

The third step is to treat life like practice. When you practice something, you are more concerned with training and learning and improving performance.  You are paying attention so you can learn and do better the next time.  Also if you treat things as practice it is not as hard to subdue your worry about how things will turn out.  No sense in worrying about how things will come out, because it won’t help your performance any.  Practice by paying attention to learning, and doing the best you can without worrying about screwing up, will make you perform better. 

The fourth step is to use your imagination, and imagine what your life would look like if you achieved all your goals. First don’t worry about being perfect in your understanding and execution of this experiment. A good rule of thumb is to imagine a day in the life of the successful you. Make note of what it would feel like to you.  What kind of person would  you be? Now begin to start becoming that person.  Do the things that someone with that success would do. Don’t worry about whether you will achieve it, you will achieve it if you become the kind person who achieves that sort of thing.  Then just start practicing whatever it is that people who are your future you do.  Read that last sentence again.  Don’t let yourself get invested in the outcome, remember it is not your conscious mind’s job to know how things will happen, just keep practicing. 

The fifth and final step could have also been the first step.  Each day find a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted for at least five or ten minutes.  Take five long slow deep breaths, and just practice doing nothing.  Keep focusing completely on your breath, or some subtle noise in the background. If a thought comes up, just acknowledge you had the thought, don’t add anymore thought to it, or judge it and then gently go back to focusing on whatever you chose to focus.  Your natural breath in and out is a good anchor.  If you find yourself during this time getting caught up in thought, that is good.  That is the practice.  To become more aware when you are focused on something in the present moment.