If you want to improve the quality of the relationships in your life, this post is for you. If you read to the end and apply these ideas, your relationships will definitely improve.
Genuine communication is as much or more about listening than speaking. Most if not all of us have been in a conversation, and had a thought we couldn’t wait to share. The other person was talking and we caught little of what they were saying, because we were focused on what we wanted to say next. We have all certainly been on the receiving end of this. I still catch myself doing this.
When you deliberately focus on listening to someone intently, a new world opens up to you. Part of a Life Coach’s training is learning to really listen. The basis for any trusting relationship is genuine listening without judgement. It is so eye opening how your world opens up when you learn to listen intently and attend to another person.
If you really want to deepen your relationships, make a conscious effort to listen and not to apply your judgements to what the person is saying. We are just one of 7.7 billion people on planet earth. What is the chance that the world is really just how we see it? Think about that. It was eye opening for me to learn that the vast majority of people regardless of what they believe are trying to do the right thing.
Learning how much unconscious thoughts impact the way we see the world, was so humbling for me. This can be unsettling for some people to realize, but the truth will set you free. Once you see the possibility that your beliefs might not be completely right, opportunities for improvement abound. This is certainly true of improving your relationships. Try to assume that the person you are talking to knows more than you think. The truth is they probably do.
Listening before speaking also allows you to improve the quality of your communication to them. You learn to speak their language, because you have taken the time to listen and learn what they care about. I have a friend who everyone really likes. He is genuinely a good guy, and a great listener. Not one hundred percent sure the two are related, but he is a retired attorney. This is a profession where listening is very important. I always feel heard when we talk, and he always remembers to ask me about whatever we talked about the last time we talked.
If you struggle with listening, you are not alone. I still have a tendency to take over conversations, but even a little improvement goes a long way, and it gets easier with time.
Try it out this week. Seek to genuinely listen to everyone you come in contact with. Feel free to let me know how it goes.