The Real Source of Positive Change


Just under the label of self help alone, there are nearly 90,000 books in print. Then you can just keep adding labels, like success, spirituality, motivation, and the list goes on and on.  My point is that we have more books available to us than we could read in a lifetime.  So how many of those books do you need to make a positive change in your life?  The answer is “ZERO”.  Yes it is true that most leaders read, and it is also true that some of the information in these kinds of books are very useful.  I read self help books.  The problem is that some of us get the idea that we need these kinds of books to succeed.  Sometimes we also get the idea that we are going to prepare ourselves for massive change overnight.  While change happens in an instant, getting ourselves to the place where we are ready to make those changes doesn’t work like that. 

Here are three of the things I believe to be the real catalysts for positive change.  

Awareness Without Assumptions

Awareness of the present moment is one of the most overlooked treasure troves for living a better life.  We tend to live too much of our lives in thoughts of the past and future.  We think about what didn’t work in the past, and how we need to do better in the future.  Pay attention to where your awareness is.  Are you thinking about the past or future?  How much of your energy do you spend being aware in the present moment, and not reliving the past or thinking about the future?  

This week try to devote thirty minutes in the morning reflection and planning for the day.  Other than these thirty minutes, pay attention to the present moment.  Without putting stress on yourself just carefully observe what is going on around you, and the process of doing what needs to be done.  Don’t make assumptions about meaning or outcome.  The present moment has many things to tell you if you are just aware.  If you catch your mind wandering back to the past or into the future, just gently bring it back to the present moment. 

We also need to be aware when we are making assumptions about things.  Is it true that the best scientists in the world know gravity?  The truth is that scientists can measure the effects of gravity but we have no earthly idea, what gravity is, why it is, or where it came from.  When we notice things our brain puts a label on them.  When we label them, we think we know them.  

When you are doing this exercise to focus on being aware, don’t make any assumptions about what you see in the present moment.  Just keep a sense of curiosity.  Instead of making assumptions, ask questions about what you are seeing.  Good questions begin with something like “Is it possible that…?”, or “What if…?.  Asking these kinds of questions about everything around us, will help us not to make the assumption that we know what it all means.  

One piece of awareness that has helped me greatly both physically and mentaly is learning to be aware of my breath.  When I am not aware of the present moment while I am working I tend to breathe quick shallow breaths.  When we breathe shallow breaths we greatly increase the likelihood of anxiety, and a wandering mind.  When we breathe slowly and deeply our bodies will naturally calm down.  If you want to test this out for yourself just stop what you are doing and take six deep, slow breaths.  You will notice a sense of relaxation.  Paying attention to your breath will also keep you mind out of the past and future.  The breath is a common anchor used in meditation.   

Be Grateful

Because we are constantly living in the past and anxious about the future, we find it very difficult to be grateful.  Once we start living in the present moment we can find all kinds of things to be grateful for.  It can be difficult to be grateful when we are faced with life’s problems, but even then we can find things in the moment to be grateful for.  

I don’t believe in silver bullets for success, but the idea I am about to share is powerful.  It is a primary reason that most goal setting doesn’t work.  Let’s say you set a goal to have a million dollars in the bank.  Your mind will imagine all the ways it would make you happy.  You begin to obsess on that goal.   You desire a million dollars so much that you lose everything you have to be grateful for. You feel the lack of not having a million dollars.  Now when you actually have to work hard, you feel discouraged.

No matter what your goal is, remember to work hard to find things you are grateful for along the way.  Maybe instead of setting a goal for a million dollars, try to set a goal to add a million dollars worth of value to others.  With this kind of goal you will find it easier to be grateful, and what you desire won’t make you lose what you have.

This is hard for some people, but sit down and write down all the things you have to be grateful for.  

Bias for Action

Nothing gets done unless someone does it.  Once you are aware of your environment, aware of what needs done, and have gratitude it is time to do something.  Earlier in the post I mentioned one reason that most goal setting fails.  Lack of action is the natural result of lack of motivation and purpose.  Having a sense of lack is one of the reasons we get discouraged and don’t act. We get discouraged because our minds are thinking about a past failure, or fearing a future failure. 

Once we have a goal, a daily task, we can then start doing it.  It is important to remember to keep our thoughts out of the past and future, and just focus on the task at hand.  Be curious about what you are doing and be aware of the results you are getting in the moment. 

Summary

You don’t need any books or programs to improve the quality of your life.  Just look within and in the present moment.  Early in the post I made the statement that the present moment has a lot to tell you.  If we can be fully aware of the moment we can act without the weight of the past and future, and be much more effective.   

If you are interested in talking further about improving the quality of your life, feel free to take advantage of a free thirty minute consultation.  

Things That Have to Get Done


All of us have those things in our lives that we have to get done.  Sometimes we don’t want to do them.  Can you think of something that you don’t like to do, but it has to be done anyway?  Here is something that has helped me to make that process much easier. Today’s post is short, but worth giving a try.   

Pick a small daily or weekly task that you don’t like to do, but will need to do.  It could be something as simple as making the bed, cleaning your office, or attending a regular meeting.  When the time comes and you feel that sense of dread, notice the thoughts you are thinking about doing the task.  Make a decision not to react to the thoughts, and accept the task as something that you are just going to do. When you start doing the task or walk into the meeting, don’t add your thoughts to it.  Simply pay close attention to every detail of doing the task.  Get curious about the task, not how you feel about doing the task.  Do it mindfully and deliberately, paying attention to every step.  

This method is supported by the fact that most of the pain associated with doing these tasks comes from our mind.  Many times the tasks aren’t terrible, it is just our thoughts about them that are terrible.  Mark Twain was reported to have said, “I have had a lot of troubles in life, and some of them even happened.” In saying this he was bringing to light the fact that we are most of the cause for our own mental worry and suffering.  Think about things you have worried about that never happened.

Somewhere along the way we label the specific task as bad, and our mind just reminds us every time we have to do it.  Maybe when we first did the task we were having a bad day, and associated that having a bad day with the task.  Now everytime we have to do that, the same negative feeling comes back.  

Doing things without adding our own thoughts and just paying attention to doing the task, is a great way to make life a little easier.  Give it a try and let me know what you think.

Add Focus and Discipline to Your Day


Do you want to increase your ability to focus and gain discipline consistently?  In this post I want to provide a practical exercise to increase your daily focus, and increase discipline over a period of time. If you do this exercise consistently over a week, you will notice a significant improvement.  I am not by any means completely effective, but this exercise has definitely been a game changer for me.  

Our minds can only focus on one thing at a time. This is a scientific fact. We like to think we are effective multi-taskers.  The truth is that we can become better at task switching, but it is not the most efficient way to get things done.  It takes time to task switch, and dilutes focus.

One common piece of advice from the most successful people, is to only focus on one goal at a time if possible.  If you are focused on growing your business, do your best to just stay focused on that.  This is not an easy discipline to develop, especially when so many of life’s demands are coming at us. 

On a micro level, we also need to limit the items we focus on the same way. This will keep us from diluting our focus, and make each minute of effort more effective. It will also make us more aware of our environment, which will keep us more alert overall.  Your unconscious mind is really good at alerting you of change in your environment.  If you are intentionally focused on fewer things at time, you have more capacity for overall awareness 

The first step in getting more focus and discipline in your day is to be completely aware of what you are up to.  Our minds get really busy, and sometimes we aren’t conscious of just how busy our minds are.  I recommend taking  five or ten minutes twice per day to do the following two-part exercise.

  • First find a quiet place first thing in the morning, and some other time later in the day.  Sit or stand someplace comfortable.  Take a deep breath, and then continue to focus on your breath in and out for the next few minutes.  If you notice any thoughts coming up, just acknowledge them but don’t react to them.  Go back to focusing on your breath.  Do this for around five minutes.  You will find your mind a little calmer and clearer. It is normal when you are getting started to  have a hard time staying focused.  The fact that you notice it, just means you are making progress. 
  • Next just think specifically about what you want to get done for the rest of your day. You may want to write them down as well.  As you do this, you may find your mind jump to other things.  You will notice this because of the first exercise.  This is a good thing.  When your mind begins to generate thoughts, just go back and focus on what you want to accomplish for the rest of the day.

If you have tried this, let me know how it has helped you.

Once you have done the exercise just go back to your day and execute on what you want to get done.  Throughout the day try to keep this awareness.  I will often take a minute or so, several times a day to just take a deep breath, and just focus on my breath in and out. 

Selfishness ?


If you think you are selfish, are you really? I am writing this post, because I suspect there are others, who could stand to be a little more “selfish”.

Selfishness is one of the topics I have been thinking about for a long time.  Somewhere along the way, I came to believe that if I wanted something good for myself, I was being selfish. I never thought about the fact, that most of the the things I wanted would not have a negative impact on anyone else.  I just unconsciously assumed that if it was good for me it must be bad for someone else.

When I was three I lost my dad in a very traumatic way. I suspect that the insecurities developed during this time, caused me to mistake selfishness with insecurity. When we care too much about what other people think, it creates a dynamic between our feelings and actions and those of others. This causes all kinds of irrational beliefs and outcomes.

The problem is that most of us aren’t aware that we have picked up irrational beliefs, but they still impact our lives. If you think you are selfish and feel bad about it, chances are you have mistaken selfishness for something else as well.

When we are insecure it creates actions that appear selfish to both us an others. If we are insecure in our ability to make and save money, what are the chances we will be generous with our money? If we believe money is scarce and we are scared to lose it, we are going to hold on for dear life. If we are truly selfish we are going to do the same thing. It is the same with sharing affection. If we believe someone else is thinking bad about us, we are not going to share our affections.

When we finally get to the point where we are ready to shed our insecurities for good and make our lives better, those irrational beliefs and insecurities will try to hold us back. It is very important that we question those feelings, and get to what is really going on.

Give yourself permission to be a little “selfish” and enjoy life.

What Makes You Unhappy?


If I asked you what makes you unhappy you might tell me about your boss, a family member, or something else.  I am not discounting anyone’s experience, but what really makes us unhappy is having unmet needs and desires.  We want our boss to stop treating us a certain way.  We want to quit feeling bad about a broken relationship.  Maybe we need money to pay our bills.  What do we do about these problems, until we can change our circumstances? 

This post is not about settling for whatever comes your way, and being happy about it.  It’s about accepting our circumstances for what they are at the moment. When we have unmet needs and desires it causes us to become discontent.  If we can’t see our way clearly towards a solution, it can lead to unhappiness or even depression.  

The most effective way to stop this cycle is to really think about our circumstances without reacting to them.  Accept them and then ask… Now What?  

For much of my adult life I had a lot of things to be thankful for, but I felt like the world was caving in on me.  What I discovered was my unconscious mind playing the same thoughts over and over.  I didn’t realize how much control our unconscious thoughts have over us.  Have you ever wondered why you don’t do what you ought to?

We consciously know that exercise is good for us, but until we can manage to make exercise a habit, we opt out often enough that we end up having to start from scratch again.  When we think about exercising, our unconscious mind tries to keep us from that pain.  If we don’t take action right away those unconscious thoughts take over.  Next thing we know we are planted somewhere on our backsides. 

It is often these same kinds of thoughts that are making you unhappy.  The first step is to use mindfulness, prayer time, or meditation to clear your mind and just notice the thoughts that are coming up.  Purposefully taking notice of those thoughts that are rising, but not reacting to them is the first step in stopping the cycle of negative thoughts.  That is what accepting what is without responding to it means.  Once you know what those thoughts are you can choose to replace them.  
If this post hit home for you and you want to explore in more depth what you can do to make your life more of what you want schedule your free Thirty Minute Consult.

The Power of Genuine Communication


If you want to improve the quality of the relationships in your life, this post is for you.  If you read to the end and apply these ideas, your relationships will definitely improve.  

Genuine communication is as much or more about listening than speaking.  Most if not all of us have been in a conversation, and had a thought we couldn’t wait to share.  The other person was talking and we caught little of what they were saying, because we were focused on what we wanted to say next.  We have all certainly been on the receiving end of this.  I still catch myself doing this.

When you deliberately focus on listening to someone intently, a new world opens up to you.  Part of a Life Coach’s training is learning to really listen.  The basis for any trusting relationship is genuine listening without judgement.  It is so eye opening how your world opens up when you learn to listen intently and attend to another person.

If you really want to deepen your relationships, make a conscious effort to listen and not to apply your judgements to what the person is saying.  We are just one of 7.7 billion people on planet earth.  What is the chance that the world is really just how we see it?  Think about that.  It was eye opening for me to learn that the vast majority of people regardless of what they believe are trying to do the right thing.

Learning how much unconscious thoughts impact the way we see the world, was so humbling for me.  This can be unsettling for some people to realize, but the truth will set you free.  Once you see the possibility that your beliefs might not be completely right, opportunities for improvement abound.  This is certainly true of improving your relationships.  Try to assume that the person you are talking to knows more than you think.  The truth is they probably do.   

Listening before speaking also allows you to improve the quality of your communication to them.  You learn to speak their language, because you have taken the time to listen and learn what they care about.  I have a friend who everyone really likes.  He is genuinely a good guy, and a great listener.  Not one hundred percent sure the two are related, but he is a retired attorney. This is a profession where listening is very important.  I always feel heard when we talk, and he always remembers to ask me about whatever we talked about the last time we talked.  

If you struggle with listening, you are not alone. I still have a tendency to take over conversations, but even a little improvement goes a long way, and it gets easier with time.  

Try it out this week.  Seek to genuinely listen to everyone you come in contact with.  Feel free to let me know how it goes.   

Starting From Different Places


Have you genuinely tried to make positive changes in your life, and just feel stuck? Have you taken the advice of “success experts”, and still couldn’t make any significant progress? The purpose of this post is to provide both a possible reason and solution for this problem. I doesn’t matter where you are starting from, you can still get there.

One of the most enlightening discoveries that I have made while talking to people about their goals, is how our difference in perception of the world, impacts our outcome. We often project our view of the world on others. We understand them through our filter of the world. The reality is people are very different. It has been humbling, but necessary to discover this.

For one person, making their goal so big it is almost unachievable really helps them to persevere. To another person driving toward a goal that big creates nothing but more stress in their lives. That was me.

It all depends on how you interpret the world. For some of us we have to start the road to achievement with much smaller goals, and build on small successes. This goes back to all of those unconscious thoughts that we have that make up our view of the world. Sometimes past failures impact us, and we have no idea that it is happening. If we take time to examine the facts you may find that the same things happen over and over again, regardless of the approach. This is most often unconscious thoughts, that you haven’t uncovered.

If you can uncover what these thoughts are, then you can start to deal with them. In this post, I give you some suggestions to learn to notice these unconscious thoughts.

Some people naturally move towards goals, and others attempt to move away from the negative consequences of their current situation. Any real achievement in life is mostly a result of moving toward what you want, not away from what you don’t want. For those people who are “moving away from” , there is a need to become conscious of that behavior. You start this by setting small achievable goals, and as you have these small successes, your mindset will begin to transform.

The bottom line is that you can set and achieve your goals, you just need to find what works for you. Either way when you are stuck, start with smaller achievable goals, and them build momentum for you.

The Value of the Present Moment


This post is an opportunity for you to develop an understanding of a much better way of living than ninety percent of people in our culture. A couple of common themes that arise in my posts are first that you can only act in the present moment, but you can’t do anything in the past or future. The second thing that often comes up is that persistent internal dialogue that often sabotages you when you are making progress in life. It often tells you you are not good enough, or you better hurry up or you will fail.

A better way to live is to keep yourself grounded in the present moment. Take a moment as you are reading this post, take a deep breath and just take notice of what is going on around you, without reacting to or judging it. Look around at your environment like it has something to tell you, but don’t let yourself get caught up in your thoughts about anything. Just notice your thoughts. If you were able to successfully do this little exercise, you were in the present moment.

When I first started living more in the present moment, I found myself with occasional anxiety, that focusing on right now was taking away focus on achieving my goals, and all the things I had to do in a day. This is a natural reaction that most people have. Eventually I realized that I was beginning to become more aware of what really needed to be done and weeding out the unimportant tasks.

The most important benefit is that i began to notice opportunities in my environment that I had missed before. I replaced reacting to people and events with observing them without immediate judgement. In doing that I was able to get more done and be more effective. It is like the planning and preconceived notions about life were really holding me back from making progress.

Attention is in short supply in our social media era. Practicing just being in the present moment without adding your thoughts and judgement to it, will train your brain to allow you to focus your attention where you want it. Discipline is the most important part of achieving anything great in life. In order to develop discipline you have to be able to put your attention and action where you want it when you want it. Living in the present moment allows you to do that.

“A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle is a great place to start if you want to learn more about living in the present moment. If you would like to take advantage of a free 30 Minute Life Coaching Consult drop me a note here.

Awake Life Transformation Community


Sometime ago my wife and I went to a comedy show.  I apparently misread the start time on the tickets.  We arrived at the arena around six, but the doors didn’t open until seven. We waited around as others started to arrive. I felt a deep sense of satisfaction. We were just watching the people arrive, and looking out into the city.  I remember thinking how I never felt this way before I discovered the things that inspired me to start this community.  Just a few years before I would have reacted to that situation very differently.  I would have been frustrated with myself for misreading the ticket.  I would have been impatient waiting for the doors to open at seven. I would have probably been bickering with my wife over the whole situation.  I would have been answering work emails and returning phone calls.   I want to share a few of the foundational ideas that helped me to move from depression and frustration to a  mostly positive and peaceful life.   I want to be clear up front that for most people this isn’t something that happens overnight.  It is a process that requires some work. I also want to be clear that nothing here should be construed as a replacement for doctor visits, therapy or medication.  Here are a few of the main ideas that were the start of my ADHD Awake Life Transformation. 

You are not your thoughts or how you feel

We all have an almost constant stream of thoughts that come into our minds all day long.  We assume that we willingly created these thoughts, but if we pay attention we see that they just rise naturally.  Most of these thoughts are on autopilot.  They are generated as a reaction to our environment.  Many of those thoughts come from programs that were formed in our minds before the age of ten.  The research is clear on this. You can learn to step outside those thoughts, and create some space to evaluate and question them.  The purpose of the work associated with this principle is to create space between incident, and response.  This community will help you do this by teaching you ways to create that space.  It will also give you tools to sort through common thoughts and see the truth that those negative thoughts aren’t you. They are just thoughts that you can evaluate and decide to keep or resolve.  Probably the most important aspect of success in this area is the support of other people in the community that share many aspects of  your journey.

Perception is not reality

Once you have the tools to create the space between incident and response, you will begin to see that the way you perceive the world isn’t actually the way the world is.  To some extent we all believe we see the world as it is.  We believe that our view of reality is true and accurate.  Sometimes we even project our thoughts on others by telling them or someone else what that person should do.  The late Dr. Stephen Covey tells the story in “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” of getting on a train.  There was a man with two children.  The children were creating quite a disturbance on the train.  Dr. Covey had become irritated, and decided to confront the man about his children’s behavior.  The man responded that Dr. Covey was right, but that they had just come from the hospital where his wife, and the boy’s mother had just passed away.  In an instant Dr. Covey’s whole outlook on the situation had changed.  The point of this story is that Dr. Covey had perceived something very different from reality.  This is an extreme case, but working to discover reality instead of instantly creating it in your mind can reveal moments that will propel your journey forward exponentially.  

The friction of urgency

I remember an urgent request that came through at work several years ago.  The CEO of our company needed something, and he needed it quickly.  My faster than normal ADHD brain jumped into action and I started assembling the work at a breakneck pace.  I finished the work and pushed it up to my boss who was eagerly anticipating it’s arrival.  I was proud that I had completed the work.  My boss took one look at it and pointed out that I had missed an important part of the work.  I was devastated, and calling myself all sorts of names.  Now the pressure was really on. I went through two more iterations of this, and missed the deadline by an hour.  I was worn our and still calling myself names.  Since this incident I have learned that if I had just acknowledged the sense of urgency, but treated the project as an important project instead of an urgent fire drill, that I would have produced better work in the same amount of time.  I have proved this theory at least a hundred times since this incident.  I want to break this section out into two paragraphs, because this next piece is really important. 

Past, Present, and Future

We can only act in the present.  We can’t physically do anything in the past, and we can’t literally perform work in the future.  I always ask the person I am communicating this with to actually think this through on the as they are confronted with the topic.  This is important to think about.  The only time we can do anything is now.  This is important because our mind is always painting pictures of the past, and future.  When you are in these urgent situations your mind can be put into the future consequences, and take your mind off the task at hand. For those of us with ADHD this is common, therefore that pressure doesn’t work as well as it would for some neuro-typical persons. In this situation you can realize that the urgency in this situation is not yours, and that now and the task at hand is the only thing you have to work with. You can choose whether to bow to the pressure, because the urgency isn’t directly yours. It is also important to note that Depression is a result of dwelling on the past, and anxiety is a result of dwelling on the future. The pressure created by this type of situation is all about future consequences, which are best controlled now. This past, present, and future topic was also broken out, because this one has the potential to be a game changer in your journey.

Don’t do this alone

Did you know that if you have two horses pulling a wagon instead of one, that each horse can pull three times the weight than it could have alone.  It is the same principle at work when you collaborate with others on a journey like this one.  Before I started this transformation I tried to do everything alone.  For the first forty five years of my life I made some progress, but over the last three years I have made more progress than I have in the first forty.    

In Summary

These are just a few of the principles that have helped me and can help you to begin a transformation.  I want to finish up by saying that no one has their life completely together.  Whether you feel like you are starting at ground zero or you have thrived with ADHD, your journey is just beginning.  If you are ready to begin your own journey, and would like to secure your place in the community before launch, feel free to reach out. I look forward to hearing from you.

This Realization Changed my Life


This post is dedicated to everyone who lives with ADD or loves someone with ADD.

In our minds we have three states of time. Past, present, and future. We can only do anything in one of them. It is only the present moment in which we can physically act. Before you read on take a moment and let that sink in. The only time you can act is in this present moment. You can’t take action in the past, and you can’t take literal action in the future. It is only right now that you can do anything. If you didn’t stop and think that through please do so now. It is the foundation for what follows.

Our thoughts are constantly either recreating events of the past, or trying to paint the future. Unless you are under immediate physical attack the only emotional pain you suffer are those memories of the past or thoughts of the future. Your thoughts about the future and the past dictate what you do in the present moment. That statement was not meant to de-legitimize anyone’s pain or emotional state. Therapists and Life Coaches spend much of their time with clients, listening closely to their thoughts about what is going on in their lives or how they might achieve their goals. Their potential to help their client begins when they detect unhealthy thought patterns, or those thoughts that don’t align with the client’s goals. For the sake of improving your life, what if you were to begin to live your life more fully in the present moment? Do what I am about the suggest the next available time after reading this post, or right now if you are in a quiet place and won’t get interrupted. Wherever you are sit quietly, close your eyes if you want, and pay attention to the subtle noises in the background. You can also focus on your breathing instead, or notice the subtle feelings in your body. Notice the feeling of your body against the furniture. When a thought comes to mind, don’t judge it or react to it just notice it. Then take your focus back to the sounds in your environment, your breath, or the subtle feelings in your body. Do this for at least five minutes and no more the twenty minutes. When I was first starting with Mindfulness I did this for twenty minutes a couple of times per day. Over a period of a month or so I started to notice that I was calmer overall. I also started to notice that I could better control my impulsivity. I remember the first time I noticed this. Someone had said something that would have normally triggered me to respond and start an argument. I was able to let the comment pass, without incident. If you have ADD, you know how that incident would have likely ended, if I hadn’t created that space that allowed me not to react to the comment. I also noticed something else. I didn’t feel any ill will towards the person who made the comment. It was as they say like water of a ducks back. If you honestly participated in that exercise, and had a positive experience I want to issue a “temporary” warning. I once heard a popular success guru tell an audience about his meditation practice, and then right after he warned them that if all you ever do is bliss out on meditation, they will eventually come and take your furniture. I call this a temporary warning because Mindfulness is not just about meditating. Once you are able to stop the racing thoughts in your mind you will realize that being mindful can be done throughout the normal course of life. Here are a few ways you can practice Mindfulness throughout your day. Let’s say you want to get into the habit of making your bed every morning. Tomorrow morning you can get up, and Mindfully make your bed. Take a deep breath and deliberately make your bed, noticing the feel of the fabric in the pillows, or how the wrinkles flatten out when stretching the sheet. Overall just pay attention to the process. Another way I practice Mindfulness is when I am writing an email or message to someone. I will notice myself deliberately touching each key. Whatever you do throughout your day for work or home just pick a few things to do deliberately noticing the details.

The real goal of Mindfulness is to quiet all those thoughts that normally keep you out of a state of being attentive. Have you ever wondered why no matter how hard you try, you just haven’t been able to change certain behaviors. It is likely because you never noticed the thoughts that were causing them. When you learn to observe your thoughts without passing judgement, you will become conscious of them. When you are conscious of your thoughts, it shines a light on them that makes their impact diminish. The bible tells us to “guard the door of our minds.” The only way you can guard against the thoughts is to become aware of them, let them be and they will dissipate. If you have questions or comments drop me a note here or comment below.