As I write this, I am asking myself what I want to do about this day. Just like mostly every other person on the planet, I have off days.  Times when I don’t feel good about myself, and days when I don’t believe in myself. What we do in these times matter. These days are a gift. They are life showing us an opportunity to overcome those incessant thoughts that we all have.  So what do you do when you feel paralyzed by doubt and fear? Here is the answer. “You accept it, feel into it, and sit with it for a while”.

Through the ups and downs of life our minds are constantly alternating between a past that has already happened and a future that is uncertain. During the down times our thoughts tell us that the past was bad, which informs us that the future will be bad as well. Bad thoughts about the past turn into depression, and bad thoughts about the future turn into anxiety. When things are good, we think the past was good, and are definitely sure the future is going to be good. Both of these scenarios have the same problem. They are not taking the present moment into consideration. 

We spend most of our lives in the past and future. We completely neglect to take a careful look at the present moment. Less than an hour ago I was thinking about tomorrow’s business activities, and what happened last night. I was caught up in those thoughts, and started to doubt how good this week could be, or what I would be able to get done today. My wife has had a cold for a couple days and I woke up not feeling so good this morning. When you add those thoughts about the stresses of the upcoming week, I let my brain take me where I didn’t want to go. So what do I do now?

I am writing this post from my home office. I can hear the hum of the fan in the background. My wife has the tv playing in the living room. My dog is lying quietly next to me on the floor. The sun is shining outside my window. These are some facts around my present moment. What happens if I just focus my attention on these things without adding any thought to them. I get a peaceful sense and realize that nothing is falling in on me. There are just some things happening in my environment. Even if the house was in a chaotic state, until I assign meaning to the events around me, they are just some things happening.

The moment I label them as good or bad, my mind naturally starts generating thoughts. I used to think that it was me choosing to think.  Once I learned to focus on the present moment without adding any thoughts to it, all that changed. When I would practice just paying close attention to what was going on around me, I noticed thoughts would just come up. It’s like my brain was an automatic label maker. I might hear the TV and think,”oh boy my wife is watching those goofy Christmas movies again, man those are annoying”. I might hear the fan humming in the background and think “that fan is getting louder, wonder how much longer it will last?” You get the picture, but the point is these thoughts will just come up.  Once you realize this, your world will start to open up.

Why does your brain just generate thoughts? Where do they come from? They come from a number of things.  They come as a result of your biology, your beliefs, what you were taught, what happened to you, and how you reacted to it from the time you were born until now. The fact is that those thoughts are not you.  You are the person who notices these thoughts. Once you make this transition, you can then make the decision to be one hundred percent responsible for your life. You realize that being responsible doesn’t mean you blame yourself. You realize that there are just some things happening out there, and now you can choose your response, or choose no response at all. You can set your goals in the present moment, and not be dependent on a specific outcome. You just practice the tasks day in and day out that you think will get you to your goals. When you notice a self-sabotaging thought, just acknowledge it, sit with it, and feel into it.  Realize that it is just a thought, not a truth. You can then just go back to working towards your goals.

This is your day! Here are a couple things you can try to uncover this new found freedom. 

Pick a menial task that you don’t normally like to do. Before starting it, just take three deep slow breaths, and then slowly methodically do the task. Notice the sensations in your body as you do it.  If you are washing the dishes just notice the temperature of water, and notice the food particles falling away from the dishes as you wipe. Whatever the task is, just notice exactly what is happening and how it feels.  When that thought invariably comes up that you don’t like to do the task, just acknowledge the thought, don’t add anything to it.  Then just go back to doing the task and focusing on the details.  You will likely find that the task isn’t bad at all, you just decided at some point you didn’t like it as a result of something that happened.

What I am doing as I write this post, is how I often deal with myself when I let my mind start going negative. I write. I know all these things, but sometimes I need a reminder so I write.  Sometimes I just write about the details of what I am feeling and just start asking questions about my situation without answering them right away. There is power in questions. What’s possible now? That is a great question to ask and answer as you are writing.  Journaling helps you get awareness around whatever thoughts you might be thinking.  That gives you the opportunity to just accept and sit with them for a moment. Once you do this, then just stop to notice the present moment