Before you make the decision to hire a life coach, there are some things you should know that might allow you to delay or even decide not hire a life coach.  I have found that the biggest obstacle to most people’s journey is a lack of self and situational awareness. You might think it is just a platitude when I say you are capable of so much more than you think, with much less effort than you think. It is not a platitude, it is what I have found to be true.

Here are some things you can do over the next thirty days that may provide insight into the truth that you are so much more than you realize.  The key truth that hit the fast forward button on my own progress, was the realization that I am not my thoughts, my past, or even how I feel. Do the following exercises and see for yourself. 

Learn to be alone with your thoughts

Learning to be alone and comfortable with your thoughts is a prerequisite for any meaningful success. This exercise practiced over a period of time will help you to be able to act in spite of your thoughts. 

Find a quiet place to sit, and take a few long slow deep breaths. Once you settle in and get relaxed, just notice what thoughts come up.  When you have a thought just acknowledge that you had the thought and go back to being alone with your thoughts. Don’t judge the thoughts, yourself, or anyone else.  Just go back to watching for the next thought to come up. After you have done this for five to ten minutes, begin to ask yourself if you willingly brought up the thoughts you had.  Ask yourself where those thoughts came from.  You will notice that most of your thoughts are not acts of free will, they just come up. You will also start to see that your thoughts are just a result of everything that has happened to you, everything you were taught, and your reaction to what happened to you since you can remember.  When you perform this practice daily, over a period of weeks, you may find that you are happier and more disciplined. 

If you want to explore other mindfulness exercises, or learn more about mindfulness go back to former blog posts.

Experience the power of questions

The power of questions to change your life is stunning. Much of the progress that clients make during life coaching sessions happens during reflective listening sessions. With no judgment, I will simply listen to the client, ask questions to clarify my understanding, and at the end of that topic I will summarize and repeat back what I heard. This allows the client to feel heard, and understood.  More importantly it helps the client to see any place their words don’t align with their goals. It also allows them to clearly see obstacles that they couldn’t see before. This questioning exercise can be practiced throughout your day.  Asking yourself questions is a great way to gain self awareness. Anytime you have time and notice a thought come up, ask these questions:

• Where did that thought come from?
• Is that thought useful?
• Is that thought true?

When you ask yourself if the thought is true, and it is.  Don’t stop there, continue to examine the reality of the thought by asking more questions. Often the answer as to whether I think something is true doesn’t stand up to the scrutiny of reality.  Clients have many breakthroughs as a result of repeatedly questioning the truth behind their thoughts.  

Another really powerful type of question begins with, “is it possible that….?. When you want to achieve something, the way you are going to achieve it rarely turns out to be the way you thought you would. Let’s say you want to start a business, and your idea is that you want to quit your job, and start your business.  The problem is that money will be tight if you do that.  You might ask questions like:

• Is it possible that a bank, friend, or family member could loan me the money to get started?
• Is it possible that instead of having a physical location right away, I could somehow conduct my business at home?
• Is it possible that I could start my business part time, and work in the evenings or on days off?

Once you ask the first question, don’t stop, just keep asking questions until possible surfaces. 

These two brief exercises will at a minimum help you start to discover that your thoughts aren’t always your own.  Hopefully it will help you to discover the empowering truth, that you are so much more than your thoughts.  The final exercise is to simply ask yourself this question on a regular basis “What’s possible now?”