Do you believe you have what it takes to drive your life in a positive direction? I didn’t know I had ADHD until later in life, but I always knew there was something different about me. It made me feel insecure and inadequate. Starting at a very early age I would lie about things, and do anything I could to make myself look like I was better than I thought myself to be. I was desperate to fit in to my world, but the harder I tried the worse things became. My impulsiveness would erupt at the worse times, and this cause a lot of criticism and anger to come my way. I wasn’t a good student. I was broken on the inside. With every year that passed, I became more desperate to fit in. I found some reprieve in my teenage years by hanging out with the smokers, and other people living outside of high school popularity. This lead me to alcohol and eventually drugs. When I was sixteen years old I tried to get a job at a local grocery store chain, but couldn’t pass the cashier’s basic math test required to be a cashier. There were however occasional glimmers of hope left in me. The first was the church where my mom attended. That was one of the only places I felt cared for and appreciated. The second came when I was about fifteen years old, I worked for a doctor taking care of the grass around his home and practice. They lived in a very large very nice home. The doctors sons were a little younger than me and their daughter was about the same age. It might have been misguided, but I perceived them to have wealth, and somehow I was holding out hope that I could have that as well. In addition they were fairly friendly and we talked on a regular basis. They didn’t know my situation at school, so it was some place I could be myself. The more negative earlier experiences in life persisted well into adulthood. There are still things I struggle with today. I shared these experiences with you because, once I discovered the other foundations I will share with you in upcoming posts, my life started to change. When I look back now, I see that my outcomes were first a result of my beliefs, and second that my beliefs influenced my actions which lead to many of the negative consequences. Today I am a fairly successful technology professional. I have been married for twenty eight years and am in a great place. The goal of bapcinco.com for me is to simply pay forward the blessings that I have experienced, and was blessed enough to come by.
Whether the situations you deal with are better or worse than the picture I painted above, you are enough. This is going to be simple, but it won’t be easy. The catalyst for change is to build better thoughts, discover truths, and act on those. The tough part is discovering “what you are up to, and why”. A lot of people think they know exactly what they are doing and why. If there is one thing I have learned, it is only the deluded who believe they know exactly, what they are up to, and why. There are so many external influences in your life, that you may never perceive. In the coming weeks and months you will learn a little more about that, and that is the primary pillar on which you will build your foundation.
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